How many times have you heard self-proclaimed identity experts exclaim “be true to you- own who you are?” And how many times have you sat there contemplating whether or not you “owned” your unique identity, your unique existence? Did you slowly tear yourself down, wishing for things to be different: your hair, your figure, your opinions, your value, your self worth? If you answered no to that simple question, then congratulations as you are one of the few who have found true happiness in being exactly who you are, in owning your true identity and being completely ok with the person you have become. But if you agreed with that statement, then sadly join the club as I, too, have thought those things as well. Too often we struggle with our own identity, we struggle with what the world and others tell us who we should be, and therefore, we vacillate between liking who we are and disliking who we are.

Often we try to hide our true feelings, emotions, and opinions. We don’t believe enough in ourselves to fight for who we are, or for what we believe in, or for what we think. Whether it be about ourselves personally or perhaps about race, or religion, or politics, we hide behind what the majority says or thinks and then ignore our own true thoughts and beliefs. How exhausting is it to constantly question ourselves and what we see as important? How damaging is it to our self worth and self esteem to doubt our importance, to doubt how amazing we are just the way we are? How great would life be if we were more accepting of ourselves and of the amazing qualities and strengths we possessed?

Why not try today to be your own best friend? The person you go to who tells yo how awesome you are, how caring you are, how thoughtful you are. What if you turned your negative self talk into daily positive affirmations? Wouldn’t you then start to see the amazing qualities you already possess? Would you then be more willing to see the beauty within your true self? What if you ignored what society told you was beautiful and simply believed in your own beauty? Would you then be more accepting of your so called “flaws?” Apply that then to everything about yourself and slowly but surely you will begin to see value in who you are. It is our own unique qualities that make us special, that make us the best version of who we are in this crazy thing we call life. I try everyday to envision this for myself and I work on being gentler with myself every time I start to tear myself down. It isn’t easy and there isn’t a quick fix, but with time and patience it will become easier, it will become more common stance, and I will become more comfortable with who I am. You should try it, too. Let me know how it goes and perhaps we can work on it together. Be you. Be great.