Have you ever felt like you were stuck, unable to move closer toward a goal of yours or on the other hand, further away from a situation you knew was bad for you? Was it as though you were unable to make a decision one way or another that would have actually MOVED you in a positive direction rather than keeping you in the same place? I often wonder why we are unable to set ourselves free, unable to put our true wants and needs ahead of what is expected or deemed “right” for us by others.
I have been “stuck” many times in my life – and I imagine that you have, too. Throughout our childhood and teenage years, and even into adulthood, we seem unable, or unwilling, to throw caution to the wind and go after what we want for ourselves. Afraid of failing, afraid of disappointing others, afraid of seeming selfish – all of these “fears” are imaginary roadblocks that we place in front of our dreams and aspirations in life. Selfishness is a term we run from. Stubbornness seems to be a caveat of being driven. But when we learn to ignore the haters, ignore the pessimism others have regarding our future, our dreams, and our goals then we can truly “unglue” ourselves and move toward what we want out of life for ourselves.
This is not a selfish act, it is not putting others after our own needs, wants and desires. Rather, it is creating our best self- one that is driven, committed, on fire, and definitely not “stuck.” But until we learn what drives us, what makes us tick, what pushes us towards our goals in life then we will not try to change, not try to grow, not try to take risks. Fear holds us back. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of realizing we aren’t who we thought we were. These fears often result in our unhappiness, in our lack of desire to find our true calling in life. It then becomes easier to go with the mundane, to lose sight of what we are truly passionate about – that is when we give up on ourselves and in finding our true calling in life.
So, then, how do we know what our true calling is in life? How do we know when the time is right to get “unstuck?” Personally, I think it happens in many ways: our job no longer brings us joy nor fulfillment, our personal relationships/friendships seem forced or one-sided, our happiness in every day things seems strained/forced. When these symptoms start to appear, we must take a deep breath and really ask ourselves if we are happy, ask ourselves if we are staying in the same course of action simply because it is easier. If the answers are yes then we know we aren’t changing our course because we are afraid of rerouting ourselves down an unknown path, afraid that maybe the grass isn’t greener on the other side of that proverbial hill. But I want to challenge you to think differently, to dream bigger, to envision exactly what it is that you want out of your life. And once you have a clearer understanding of what it is that you are looking for, I want you to write down what steps you will take to make that dream a reality, I want you to write down a timeline of milestones you want to hit along the way so that you can measure your successes as they occur. Without proper planning you will not reach the successes that you are capable of…and I know that when you put your mind to something, you are capable of anything. The question is – do you believe that you are?